Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
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