Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
