Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize