You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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