At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
