Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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