If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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