Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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