I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
