the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
