so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
"it" just moved
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
