if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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