she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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