ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
