if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
