: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
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