YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
