one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
