I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
