I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
