my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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