It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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