If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
