Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
