Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
