Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
