but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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