My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
