508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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