then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
