then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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