My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Randomize
