look no pants
i permit you to call me
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
