Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
