I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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