the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize