no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
