The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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