You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
