it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I touched a dick in church today
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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