I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
