ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
