Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
