New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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