I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
They took my balls.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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