Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
