its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize