he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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