You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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