New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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