I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
