I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
