he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
