i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
