Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
