OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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