i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
