I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
