hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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