I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
