That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
